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Saturday
Sep292012

Healing the Planet

 

This article in The New York Times got me thinking about compassion. Here is an official of the city of Girona, who, with more than a million people starving in Spain, put padlocks on the supermarket trash bins in his city.

“It’s against the dignity of these people to have to look for food in this manner,” said Eduardo Berloso…. Mr. Berloso proposed the measure last month after hearing from social workers and seeing for himself one evening “the humiliating gesture of a mother with children looking around before digging into the bins.” 

Humiliating, perhaps, but better than starving. What he really meant was that it was humiliating for the image of the tourist town of Girona. 

To do him justice, he did arrange for vouchers for licensed pantries and soup kitchens to be passed out where people come to forage for tossed-out food, but he ignored the fact that many of these people are not accustomed to hand-outs and would rather go out at night to comb through trash bins, or to food pantries in neighboring towns to avoid being seen by anyone who knows them. Most of these people would rather have jobs.

But Berloso can't imagine others’ feelings. He can't feel their shame. It is a failure of compassion but also, of understanding. Maybe empathy is a better word, since it seems to imply both compassion and understanding.

 

 

My first thought was that there ought to be tests given for compassion, for empathy, before anyone is permitted to run for office. But how would you determine that? What would that test be?

As usual, the minute I got into the shower, an answer came. By listening to people’s stories. By observing their actions. By listening to their stories which will tell you about their actions.

The three questions you’d want to ask are:

1)   How does he or she treat animals?

2)   How does he or she treat other humans?

3)   How does he or she treat others’ spiritual beliefs?

 

 

I’m thinking of the approaching presidential election in the U.S.A. Which brings to mind three true stories about the Republican party candidate, Mitt Romney.

He tied his Irish setter dog, Seamus, to the roof of the family car for a 12-hour drive to Canada. Okay, maybe not the actual dog, but a kennel containing the dog. Now, imagine you are Seamus. (Shame-us) On returning home, you too might wander away. 

In prep school, he spearheaded an attack on a gay student, John Lauber, whose bleached-blond hair he didn’t like, wrestled him down, and cut off his hair. Now imagine you are that boy.

One of the bullies involved encountered Lauber years later, and apologized. Lauber said, “It was horrible,” and described how frightened he was during the attack. He never forgot it. He died of cancer, after an apparently peripatetic life--and according to his sister, never stopped bleaching his hair. 

Romney wants to remove the rights of women concerning their own bodies, their own health, their own reproductive decisions, in spite of the fact that a majority of American women do not share the fundamentalist belief that men should control women. Imagine you are the woman who has been raped and is told she cannot have an abortion. Or the man whose wife will die without one. Or the mother whose child desperately needs medical care which she cannot afford--she can’t even afford health insurance.

 

 

A spiritual matter? Oh yes it is. The need to control women is seriously disrespectful of their autonomy and comes almost entirely from men (and women) who believe in patriarchal religions or are still living as if they do. If you cannot picture goddesses as well as gods or God, that is your model of ultimate value. Men have divine power; women must be subjected to that power.

Disrespect for animals.

Disrespect for humans.

Disrespect for others’ spiritual beliefs.

Well, that’s simple. Not qualified to hold office.

 ***

 

That Portuguese water dog, Bo, in President Barack Obama’s family seems pretty content to me.

I’ve never heard a story about President Obama’s disrespectful treatment of another human being. Have you?

Obama doesn’t mock spiritual beliefs that are not his own, and is respectful of Christians and Muslims, Hindus and Jews, agnostics and atheists, as far as I know. He doesn’t seem to believe that men should control the destiny of women, including women who believe that abortion is unthinkable. He respects others’ spiritual beliefs.

 

 

Last week Richard and I were lying in bed watching clouds flow by above our zinc roof, and talking about this and that. He told me about a terrific book he’d just finished, Jon Krakauer’s “Under the Banner of Heaven.” He talked about the closeness of fundamentalism and patriarchy that is uncovered in the book.

That’s a subject that interests me, so I said I’d like to read it.

He said he hadn’t recommended the book to me, because he knows how much I hate violence, and it was very violent.

 

 

But I read it anyway. It’s the story of a family of fundamentalist brothers who have broken away from the Mormon church, but are shaping their new sect on the Mormon principle of personal divine revelation, and a return to polygamy. The youngest one is married to Brenda, who was a top TV anchorwoman, until—naturally, in a patriarchal marriage—she has to give it up.

But she is educated, smart, warm, fearless, strong and outspoken, the least submissive of all the brothers’ wives. When another of the brothers, Ron, becomes more and more fanatical, crazed, and abusive to his wife, Dianna, she talks with Brenda, who encourages her to divorce, and Dianna summons the courage to leave him. 

Brenda continues to tell the other wives to stand up for their rights and think for themselves. She refuses to obey the demands of the six brothers. What can a man do with a disobedient woman? With absolute conviction in the rightness of their act, which they claim God ordered through a personal revelation, Ron and Dan murder Brenda and the infant daughter of one of their own brothers.

 

 

The story of these brothers and other fundamentalist Mormons and how they treated their wives, how they married and raped pubescent girls, and abused and crushed the spirits of the women in their lives was repulsive. These are men who claim they receive direct revelation from God, vision that a woman cannot receive, men who cannot be dissuaded if they hear voices telling them to marry their wives’ daughters from earlier marriages, to murder a wife who dares to question them—it’s the ultimate power trip. Empathy does not exist in their world.

My sleep was disturbed for days. I couldn’t finish the book. But based on what I did read, I’d say it’s the best book on the unholy alliance between fundamentalism and patriarchy I’ve ever read.

I think we’re lost on this planet unless we give animals, women and other marginalized people, and, yes, goddesses, equal power. The planet’s health depends on it.

 

Sculpture by Louise Bourgeois  

 

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Reader Comments (16)

Lovely comments and so true. We will be in Paris for a few weeks in December.

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 19:23 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Wonderful post!

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 19:38 | Unregistered CommenterSusan Griffin

Audrey,

Thank you! You know all about women's health care and how much it matters for women to control their own decisions. We're looking forward to seeing you and Stan in December.

Much love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 20:30 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

Dear Susan, planet healer extraordinaire,

We love hearing this from you!

Much love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 20:33 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

"The need to control women is seriously disrespectful of their autonomy and comes almost entirely from men (and women) who believe in patriarchal religions or are still living as if they do. If you cannot picture goddesses as well as gods or God, that is your model of ultimate value."

I believe in a patriarchal religion, if by that you mean Christianity. I have never thought of men as superior to me, or women as superior to men. God is "the Father" only in that, five thousand (or even two thousand or a hundred) years ago, males were the top of the food chain — though God is very clearly neither male nor female and is only called male as he is anthropomorphically understood. It's, in other words, a convenience.

And, frankly, since many of us have had terrific mothers but not-so-great fathers (Kaaren being a huge exception here, blessed with both!), it's comforting to think there's a good father watching out for me, so I don't mind calling a sexless God "Father." And, since Jesus called him Abba (Daddy), I'm happy to follow suit. It doesn't diminish me as a woman, either in power or authority.

I can't picture a goddess (or even a god with a body) for the life of me....but I love the wisdom and life lessons and self-reflection that comes out of some who do believe in such creatures. (Okay, Kaaren again, and a few others!) Christianity has some absolutely divine elements to its history, but also much to apologize for and be ashamed of (though I do tend to believe that "those" people weren't "real" Christians!), as does paganism, and just about any other belief system one can name.

More than anything, I fear labels and blanket statements. We are all so much more than the sum of our parts.

Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 22:54 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Dear Anna,

I suspect that many patriarchal religions had founding visionaries who would not have approved of the disrespect for women shown by church or synagogue or mosque leaders who came later. You seem to me to embody more closely what Christ had in mind by his teachings rather than the example of later power-addicted clergymen.

I have never thought that males or females were superior either, but I've seen the effects of patriarchal privilege in the lives of many women in our culture, and read about much worse abuse in cultures around the world.

You are an exception to most rules. You approach everything as an individual, and one who is plenty evolved. So this is not an indictment of your relationship to Christianity. I know that you treat everyone with compassion because I've seen it over the years.

My family isn't perfect, and neither is any family I've ever known. It doesn't matter what kind of family you come from, or whether you as an individual are balanced, if you're living in a culture that is not.

Patriarchy is when men get to have love and work, and women love, but not work with equal freedom, pay and opportunity. Our western culture is on the cutting edge of a balance of love and power between men and women. Even the Dalai Lama says the change that's needed in the world will come from western women. But we're not there yet. And we won't be there until women in the Congo, and Afghanistan, and India, and Russia, and Peru have equal pay, equal rights to speech, equal freedom to make choices about their lives including education, marriage, work, and health, with men.

And then in the West, consumer culture encourages women to use that freedom for stupid ends. (You know.) And the world is horribly out of balance. I think it's due to an imbalance between masculine and feminine values, to patriarchy, which overvalues power at the expense of love. I think the only way we will be able to heal the planet is to understand the underlying imbalance of values that has poisoned the earth and the sea. And set about righting that balance. Maybe if women were given more leadership positions around the world, this would begin to create balance. That at least would be a good beginning.

Much love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 2:34 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

Dear Kaaren and Richard,

I'm up early here in LA, trying to get some work done, but am always happy to make the time to read and see what you're thinking and viewing. This piece is undoubtedly the most important and powerful of all. I think of you both there, living and working intently in that strong and bonded way you have, and am grateful for what you give to others. Thank you for your clarity.

As for the empathy test, it might be possible. There are sites in the brain--the mirror neurons--that maybe could be measured some day. At least the brain might give evidence of someone who might be an "ineligible"! I also think that if Romney's dog had been a Portuguese, that dog would have thrown up on him! As you know, I have experience with that breed--no riding on the top of cars for those strong-willed characters!!!

My new book is coming soon. I think I will send you the final galley copy with the reading inside.

Love to you both!

ekh

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 16:36 | Unregistered Commentereloise

Dear Eloise,

Thank you! This means so much coming from you--marvelous soul, wonderful wordsmith--and Wise Woman.

I've noticed that in my own life, understanding problems is the first step to solving them. So why can't we all apply that to healing the woes of the planet? What you say about mirror neurons is thought-provoking. Maybe a mirror is like water, like intuition: reflecting on the things of the world accurately, and clearly mirroring the worth of all living beings IS love, and it's love that will heal the planet. Maybe those who don't have enough mirror neurons are short on love, and that should make them ineligible for holding office.

I couldn't quite manage to insert one fact about Seamus into the post, that he had diarrhea on the long trip to Canada, and Romney, who had control of bathroom stops and was strict about keeping them to a minimum, was forced to stop and hose down the top of the car. Vomit or diarrhea, I think that's a pretty clear statement of how any dog would feel about such a trip. Of course, Nikita wouldn't even have set her paws in that cage on top of the car.

We'll be thrilled to read your new book. Thank you for that gift!

Hugs to you two, too,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 21:43 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

One more question to be asked :

4) how does he or she treat leftovers?

A long time ago, at the end of summer vacation in Greece, some english people were putting in trash bins pretty dresses and skirts and shirts they didn't want to carry back to London, which could have been given with good profit to poor greek people, and even to any not so poor young people passing by.

I observed with anger these bad manners, thinking of what my grand'ma used to say : "Ne gaspille pas". [Don't waste.]

And today, what makes me crazy, is all the bread and all kinds of food thrown away on sidewalks though "glanneurs" are searching for their meal of the day through places when the market is over... [gleaners]

(Excuse my english )

with love & con passion.

Patricia

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 21:55 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia Duthion

Dear Patricia,

This is an important point: that we need to recycle our leftovers and castoffs, for the abundance of all people. Thank you for the dialogue and for your caring.

Your English is perfect. I hope one day to speak French half as well as you speak English. I've added the English translations of those two wonderful French words, gaspille and glanneurs, to your comment, for the benefit of those who don't speak French.

We appreciate your passion and your compassion!

Love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 22:04 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

I agree -- more women need to be in power. (Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir notwithstanding.) I'm not a big believer in the evolution of human beings, and do fear the corrupting influence of power, so I'm not entirely sure that's a solution, but....like Barack's presidency....couldn't hurt! And yes, one of the embarrassing things about religion divorced from actual spirit (because of course spiritual truths have to be spiritually discerned) is how tenets are taken out of context to abuse others. "Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and not do what I say?" Jesus wondered two thousand years ago — and it hasn't improved since.

Love you two Parisians....and your wild pagan ways! And now if you'll excuse me, I have a Crusade to attend!

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 22:05 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Anna, You're so funny! As if you weren't a wild pagan yourself. In hearing you read an early draft of your on-the-road novel, I was struck by how closely our lives were parallel in our late teens and twenties in the Bay Area.

I do have a sense that we are evolving, and that problems that seem insurmountable today will be solved in the future. But great change doesn't seem to come without great struggle. By women leaders, I mean ones like Elizabeth Warren, who are truth-tellers with heart. I echo Dawna's Before-I-Die wish for a U.S. President who's a smart, soulful, progressive woman.

That Crusade? I'd ditch it and put on your 3D glasses and get thee to Rome. I have a hunch you will be living there in five years and we'll bop back and forth between Paris and Rome.

Bisous et besos,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 22:28 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

Dear Kaaren & Richard,

Your observations about power and compassion (or the lack of it!) are spot-on. I don't know if you saw the recent Scientific American article that draws striking parallels between the traits of psychopaths and those of highly successful businessmen (and I use the gender-specific term deliberately). It's a fascinating read. (If you can't find it, let me know and I'll send you the link.)

And I won't get started on religion and patriarchy! You've said so much, so well here already. But I also agree with Anna, and would add that, I'm of the belief that God, and by extension, Christ, embody both the cosmic masculine and the cosmic feminine. The Christian mystic Andrew Harvey has written extensively about this. And I also would say that it's clear from various Gnostic gospels that, along with John, Mary Magdalene was highly esteemed among (though not always *by*) the disciples. Of course that was downplayed or omitted from the canonical gospels.

Thanks for your thoughts here. And also to Richard for the images, especially that stunning stained glass image of Our Lady.

Oh, and Kaaren, the Krakauer book sounds horrific. I'm not sure I could read it... but it's important that it was written. Religious fanaticism has such dark potential to tip over into brutality and madness (while in other people it can be coupled, instead, with sublime mysticism). What a nightmare for those women and children.

Thanks for the thought-provoking post!

Love!
dawna

Saturday, October 6, 2012 at 8:19 | Unregistered Commenterdawna

Dear Dawna,

Thank you! Yes, I did see that Scientific American article and it made me think of most of our reactionary politicians.

The Christian mysticism of which you speak DOES acknowledge both the feminine and masculine aspects of divinity. My late uncle Webster Kitchell was the Unitarian minister in Santa Fe for years, and his church did a beautiful job of honoring both genders, as many other churches tend to do today.

The Virgin Mary is a splendid embodiment of the feminine principle in Christianity. She is a gentle, nourishing spirit. What strikes us though when we study ancient Cretan, and later Greek, and Hindu, mythologies is how many other aspects of feminine splendor have been eliminated in Christianity. To mention just the Greek goddesses alone: Artemis, Lady of Beasts and protector of young women; Hera who is an earlier form of Daedalian creativity (the Queen of Heaven); Athena the wise governor and peace-keeper; Hestia, goddess of the hearth and home; Aphrodite who celebrates sexuality, beauty and erotic love; as well as Demeter's daughter, Kore/Persephone, who descends into the Underworld. I think also of ferocious Kali, in Hindu myth, who is the polar opposite of the gentle Virgin Mary.

Richard and I think that many of these other aspects of feminine divinity (aside from purity and motherhood) were eliminated in patriarchal religions because they couldn't be controlled by masculine energy, even divine masculine energy. So many of the stories in Greek myth tell of battles between male values and female: the constant struggle between Zeus and Hera, for instance. This was a period when many aspects of goddess energy were still recognized but the ascendance of male divinity had begun. The struggle is over in Christianity. The male divine has triumphed and only the gentle, serving aspects of feminine power are acknowledged.

So, yes, the Virgin Mary is highly esteemed and we esteem her too. (Richard and I grew up in the Christian tradition.) But there are other feminine aspects that have to be eliminated from the picture of divinity in patriarchal religions, and our sense is that the outcome of that is a world out of balance. If the part of divine feminine energy embodied in Athena, for instance, were recognized, we'd have as many female political leaders as we have male. And Athena, who supports diplomacy and peace over male Ares' support of war, would encourage less war.

No, you probably wouldn't want to read Under the Banner of Heaven. It was extremely disturbing, and I could not finish it.

Thank you for your careful and thoughtful read, Dawna.

Much love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Saturday, October 6, 2012 at 22:50 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

Dear Kaaren,

Thanks for your thoughtful response here. I completely understand all that you're saying, especially with regard to the male-female dynamic among the Greek gods/goddesses (and Hindu, as well).

Yes, I do think the Greek pantheon provides a rich embodiment of the complexity of human experience and traits. And there is no question that, in Christianity (particularly in the more fundamental denominations), stronger feminine principles have been diluted or suppressed.

And while I agree with your point about the range of females represented in Greek mythology, I would argue that many aspects of feminine splendor (though perhaps not parallel with the Greeks) remain alive and well in Christianity.

For instance, if we consider the female community of Christian saints we see that it is not entirely comprised of women as gentle as Mary, but rather full of varied women, many who are quite strong, including the intellectual mystic St. Teresa of Avila and that other great mystic St. Joan of Arc, each, in her own way, a warrior in a fiercely male world. And I also applaud those contemporary saints-to-be (at least in my book!) the American nuns who continue to stand up to Rome in the interest of human rights, especially the rights of women.

Speaking of saints, tomorrow (though his feast day was Thursday) we plan to honor and celebrate that deep follower of Christ and lover of earth and its creatures: St. Francis of Assisi. Do you know whether in Paris, people bring their canine and feline friends to mass for a blessing on this day? Would Marley be up for a trip to church? :) (I could never take Emma, even in a carrier... she would freak out!)

Thanks again, for the thought-provoking discussion, dear friend.

Much love,
dawna

Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 1:05 | Unregistered Commenterdawna

Hi Dawna,

I just saw your last comment so am responding too late to investigate going to a celebration of St. Francis in Paris. Though I think Marley would have loved it, especially if all the birds came to gather around a representation of the saint. I just read about St. Francis in wikipedia, and was struck by the parallels between his life and that of Gautama Buddha.

"According to another account, [his name, Francis] was due to the boy being able to speak and sing in French fluently and effortlessly because of his French mother teaching him. Either way, the name Francesco soon replaced his baptismal name.

"As a youth, Francesco—or Francis in English—became a devotee of troubadours and was fascinated with all things French. Although many hagiographers remark about his bright clothing, rich friends, and love of pleasures, his displays of disillusionment toward the world that surrounded him came fairly early in his life, as is shown in the "story of the beggar." In this account, he was selling cloth and velvet in the marketplace on behalf of his father when a beggar came to him and asked for alms. At the conclusion of his business deal, Francis abandoned his wares and ran after the beggar. When he found him, Francis gave the man everything he had in his pockets. His friends quickly chided and mocked him for his act of charity."

Privileged, wealthy and given to worldly pleasures, then a spiritual awakening...just like the Buddha.

You're right about strong women like St. Teresa and St. Joan of Arc in Christianity.

On the other hand, American nuns fighting for women's rights are embodiments of the Virgin Mary, and the way women have been given a lesser role, lesser power, in Christianity.

But in fact, all the in-fighting between male gods and female goddesses in ancient Greek myth also mirrored the slow ascension of male over female during that time. And in the Minoan age before that, the imbalance probably favored women over men.

What I hope is evolving is a spiritual vision that honors all religions and honors all genders and humans equally. Wouldn't that be something?

Thank you for the dialogue. We have a virtual spiritual/ intellectual/ artistic salon going on here.

Much love,

Kaaren (& Richard)

Thursday, October 11, 2012 at 21:26 | Registered CommenterKaaren Kitchell & Richard Beban

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